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Saturday, January 31, 2009


“There are days when I feel like there is none other in my heart than you. And there are days when I just feel like taking that kitchen knife and stabbing you in the heart.” –The irony of love and the irony of you.

AZ: I akan prove to you yang I akan ubah to be a good boy. I da fikir puas2. I nak you je. Without you in my life, I won’t be where I am today. I need you and I want you. You will be the only one in my life.

Gg: *smiles* betol ker you? Bile yg you fikir kan ni sume?

Az: that time, time countdown tu.

Gg:*disappointed* sighs. Ouh okay lah gitu.

Why am I disappointed and why did I sigh? It’s because I’m tired of his sweet talks and phony/empty promises. On 15/12/2008, before I went for my dangerous trip overseas, he left a note in my mobile phone, stating that he’d change and that I’m the only one in his heart. And that in his life, he’s found that one person that he could hold hands with forever and never let go. Touched, I was. But just a week after I came back, we got in a huge quarrel, a quarrel that yet again involved other girls. And to further antagonize me during the conversation above was that Countdown was on 31/12/2008 am I correct? And didn’t he say that he wanted to change (over and over again) and be somebody better at that point of time too? But just a week after countdown, I caught him being at his ex’s home. The ugly and brainless ex to be exact. Friendster: starrz (your opinion on her are greatly appreciated) that incident nearly got me hitting him with a steel baseball bat. It ended up with me giving up on being angry (again and again) and becoming suicidal instead. Countless times I’ve thought of dying. The pain of him being unfaithful is too much too bear. Yes I know that I can just move on and get somebody who’s worth my time and love. But the problem is I can’t find any other that I could love as great as loving him.

After these torturous months of pain and heartache, I don’t know why I don’t pack up my bags and move out of his home. And seeing and wondering why I don’t, I’m guessing that I just love him too much. That made up my mind to inscribe his name forever on my chest, directly above my heart. Be it in the future he leaves me for good. Or be it in the future I myself gather the strength to finally dump him out of my life. I will never regret this decision. It’s a mark on my body I’m leaving that nobody can take away from me. A mark that will forever be around to keep reminding me. Painfully remind me of this memory. Or rather this lesson.

Yes infatuation kills, but in your case it’s taking its time.



beautifully broken: Saturday, January 31, 2009

Sunday, January 11, 2009




the sweetest ever letter that he wrote for me on our 6th mth anniversary. i know a letter is not the greatest thing someone can give on an anniversary. but reading the words that came naturally out of the pen onto the piece of paper, its touching. especially with someone as egoistic as him. baby, i love you. i wish you just knew how much.


beautifully broken: Sunday, January 11, 2009

♥ One & Only.


no matter how long we exist,we have our memories-
points in time which time itself cannot erase. suffering may distort my backward glances, but even to suffering, some memories will yield nothing of their beauty or their splendor. rather they remain as hard as gems..



If you are not happy with me or my posts , You may click here .

♥ Yours Truly.


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Gergerl .
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belongs to Boy Aries
most times CLUMSY,
always called CRAZY.
I always speak my mind, usually hurting others in the process.
Im sorry if you cant handle my straightforward ways.
Im LOUD & OBNOXIOUS.
& i dont care what you tink.
Im HAPPY, & I guess thats all that matters. :)



Does it matter?


  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • May 2010
  • July 2010
  • August 2010
  • September 2010
  • October 2010
  • November 2010
  • December 2010
  • January 2011
  • March 2011
  • April 2011
  • May 2011
  • July 2011
  • October 2011


  • ♥ Just as Random.


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