♥Thursday, September 2, 2010
i guessed that this would happen. for another year, i guess i would not be celebrating hari raya. i wasted my time ordering shoes n bags n getting my hopes up. i thought you could at least help me buy my baju kurung, but no. you hurt me so much so badly when you said that i should get mine myself.
now that when i need you the most, you just pack your bags and leave. i never should have expected you to be there. i never should have let you hold my hands. n inever should have believed when you told me that we will walk through this together.
when monster told me to get out, you told me that we will work things out side by side. you told me not to despair, and that i will still get to celebrate hari raya with my pink baju kurung and all.
i thought i could be a girl again for a few days.. do my nails and perm my hair. doll myself up and enjoy the suasana berhari raya with friends by my side. but i guess, no. this year i will just spend it as i would spend any normal days.
and you told me that we would go search for housing together. but you just dump me here. told me to go by myself. go with friends. where is all your promises? where is your promise of holding my hands throughout everything.
i had enough of YOUR problems uh. about your stupid work permit, your stupid fathers bike. everytime its about YOU AND YOUR PROBLEMS. if it isnt about you its about your family. so when will it be about us? when will it be about ME?
you never ever bothered to find a place. sedang kan kau tahu seh monster cakap lepas raya we have to get out of this place. sebelum tu, asal kau taknak usaha kan? bila part family kau, kau sanggup buat kan ape2.
sudah lah.. kau memang manusia yang tak berguna. kau tak akan boleh tanggung aku. aku tanggung diri aku lagi mulia. you want a break off? you want to take your stuff? take and go. go far away from my life.
im sick of this relationship. im sick of sacrificing for YOU n your dumb family! yes i call them dumb cuz they are! hurl abuse kat aku yang tak bersalah!
i wish you would just die. if you dont die, i wish it was me who were dead!
beautifully broken: Thursday, September 02, 2010
